When necessary, my father would reminded me that, "in order to protect its citizens, Israel has the right, and the obligation to do whatever it takes. And be suspicious of people", he would emphasize, "who say otherwise, and preface it, by telling you, what's best for Israel." That, and love of family, were the lessons my father taught me. Not with d'var torahs, (words of torah), not with learning mussar or chasiddus,(both are additional ways of learning torah), or with deciding whether or not I should be cholav or pas israel. (dairy food products made in Israel in the case of "cholav", grain products made by a Jew in the case of "pas")) My father was not a religious man. He never went to shul, (synagogue), never told me, or my brother to go, and so we didn't. Maybe he went for a yahrzeit. (anniversary of a death). I really don't remember.
When it came to politics in general, he was a liberal democrat. The only time he voted for a republican ,was in 1964, when Robert Kennedy ran for US Senator against Kenneth Keating. My father thought that Kennedy, who was from Massachusetts, had no business being a senator of New York. He called him a "carpetbagger". Kennedy won though, and Keating, went on to become the United States Ambassador to Israel, from 1973-1975, in the Nixon administration.
Politics for my father, whether domestic, local, or foreign, was seen by him through the prism of a liberal. But when it came to the security of Israel, he was anything but a liberal, he was a hawk. When it came to the war in Vietnam, he was a dove. At the time, it all made sense to me.
My father died in 1982. I know that eventually he would have changed course politically. Many life long democrats have, citing that, " the party left them". I made the switch a few weeks after September 11th, 2001.Coming out of the democrat party just a few weeks after the 11th, were comments such as, "maybe we, (America) did something to cause them, (Muslims) to hate us so much". I became suspicious.
That same type of language, regarding Israel, has always come from the Arab and anti Israeli world. Words such as "occupiers and aggressors", were ways in which they would describe Israel, which really only reflected the ignorance and deep rooted anti-semitism that has become part of the language of so many nations and its people. My father told me, that there were many idiotic reasons why people were anti-semitic. But the main one, he said, was "jealously". "No other people have survived and accomplished as much as Jews", he would proudly boast, "and the ones who wanted us to be history at this point, just can't stand it that we are not."". If my father did not switch parties prior to September 11th, 2001, he certainly would have eventually.
Some years after my father died, I became more interested in following what my father had no interest in. I wanted to be observant of all things Jewish. So little by little, I did. I began to learn mussar and chassidus, I did prefer bread that was pas, and I actually flirted with the idea of being chalov israel. There was no compromise regarding my position on Israel. In fact, I now had some insight into the "religious" reasons as to why Israel was so central to my identity as a Jew. To some extent, it even empowered me.
My mother lived to see this transformation in me, much to her surprise, and much to her pleasure too. Had my father lived to see it, I really don't think he would have known what to say. My wife, was the catalyst in all of this. We went on the journey together. You could read my previous blogs, that illustrate the hills and the valleys we experienced then, and still do. As of this writing, though, I am no longer that religious man, the concept I so thoroughly embraced at one time.
My father and I never really discussed the role of a rabbi in one's life. It was assumed that when one is born, dies, marries or becomes a bar mitzvah, you need a rabbi.(even though you really don't) But when it comes to your everyday existence, I would have to surmise, that my father, would have emphatically said, "no", to the input of a rabbi.
My two daughters have between them five children, all girls. My wife and I, are the grandparents to these children. It has been in excess of six months, however, since we have been permitted to speak to either of them. One of my daughters told my wife in a recent text (because of Hurricane Sandy), that she missed her, to which my wife replied in her text, that she missed her, and the girls too. My son in law, (this daughters husband) also sent me a text with a similar sentiment. I, however, wasn't so nice in my response.
This lack of contact, is due to a directive given to them by their rabbis. I believe that my children's rabbis have told them, "don't you, or your children, have any contact with your parents". Until I hear otherwise, that is what I will believe to be the case. My wife and I are being accused of "mesirah", (see my blog "A Swine In Sheep's Garb"). Mesirah, is a prohibition against one Jew, handing over another Jew, to non Jewish authorities for a criminal act. This so called "prohibition" that we are accused of, took place in court, in a custody battle over my granddaughter. In order to protect my granddaughter from living in a community in Baltimore that is infested with pedophiles, I had to divulge that illegal financial transactions took place by someone who is a kleptomaniac, and by that person's accomplice's as well. An enviorment I did not want for my granddaughter.
One of you, (the three of you know which one) have pretty much destroyed our family. What your rabbis have done with their advice, is make a bad situation, much much worse. One of you, needs to tell your rabbis " to go to hell", because at the end of the day, these rabbis, no matter who they are, whether you want to believe it or not, are not your parents.
Dad, the older I get, the smarter you become.
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