I guess what I suspected all along is true. My daughter in Baltimore, (whose father in law is a rabbi, and by the way, go to my blog and read," A Swine in Sheep's Clothing"), my daughter in Far Rockaway (whose husband is a rabbi and responds to me with some of Batman's most famous words, such as "wow") and my oldest son (you guessed it, he too is a rabbi , and he also knows $700.00 an hour lawyers), in Crown Heights, are no longer genuine observant Jews. I know it's difficult to believe, but I must confess, from all indications, I'm afraid, and quite frankly, delighted, it is so.
To begin with, I am 100% okay with your decision to rid yourself of something neither of you ever truly embraced. You may have thought you did at one time. I even thought you did. But no more. Based on your behavior these past months, or is it years, it is impossible. It's okay. I'm your father, and I understand. I only wish the three of you had done this $180,000 + ago. (read my previous blog In Case You Were Wondering 11 )
I am okay with it, because I too, am no longer observant. And guess what ? It feels pretty good, doesn't it.? Come on , admit it. After all, you no longer have to call your parents before birthdays, holidays or shabbos, you no longer have to put our five grandchildren and your brothers niece's on the phone, you no longer have to ask how your younger brother is doing, you no longer have to ask about anything! Isn't that what torah observant Jewish children do? They are usually genuinely concerned about their parents. But for the three of you, you no longer have to do that! You are no longer observant, and you now have my blessing! What a relief it must be for the three of you. All you have to do is...... is ask your rabbi, that's it, and then, just fake the rest. Fake what, you ask? Fake, what you have been faking all this time.
But if you are not faking it, oh boy, then the advice you are receiving from these beloved rabbis of yours, is then really quite unique. So much so, that either I am much too limited in my ability to fully grasp why it is appropriate for the three of you to be so,..... oh, I don't know,...ask your rabbis for the correct words to describe you, and then, have those idiots contact me.
I did not write this for my benefit only. I must admit though, it does help some. But between me, you and your rabbis, of course, I am $180,000 + in the hole, and quite frankly, that investment in the three of you was not worth it. I would like my money back. I'll take it in one lump sum, or you could pay it out over the next few years. Either way is fine. I'm not kidding. That's how lousy the three of you turned out. Keep reading.
I am also at peace that I will never see, or hear from either one of you again. I am not at peace, however, that I will not see my grandchildren. Just do me a favor though. As long as you live in America, make sure my grandchildren grow up to love America first. If you decide to live in Israel, then teach them to love Israel first. But as long as you live here, it is America first. And when you vote, (you do vote, don't you?), take your children with you. Let them learn that the price for freedom is not cheap. You do not have to tell them the price for this freedom was American blood. In fact, don't tell your rabbis either, but some of the blood, was from solders who were Jewish, and some, are you ready, were not Jewish! Non Jewish blood! How about that! Isn't that something! Just so you can be a frummie, right?
Despite what your rabbis neglect to tell you, it was the blood shed and the service by the American soldier, that has made this country the greatest in the history of the world. Your rabbis will tell you otherwise. They will tell you that it was the great rabbis of the past that had something to do with what made America great. That it was them, that set the standard, or were influential in obtaining religious freedom for Jews in America. That is bullshit!!!!! The rabbis had absolutely nothing to do with it, unless of course, they served their country.
This past Veterans Day, did you hear one of your rabbis make mention, or pay tribute to it? Of course you didn't. Memorial Day, Independence Day, and even the greatest of all American holidays, Thanksgiving, is simply never mentioned in your fuzzy and warm world. How do I know this? I lived in it.
And you, the ones with the beards, peyos, tzitzis black hats, bechashars, kepotas, sheitels, thank a soldier the next time you see one, and be specific as to why you are doing so. Point to your beard, peyos, etc....., and tell him or her it is because of them, you could walk around looking this way. And say to them, "May God Bless You ,and May He Keep You Safe and Out of Harms Way." It's like a bracha. Say it, it's okay. I'm not a rabbi. you can trust me.
No comments:
Post a Comment